Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Second Pregnancy: Should I or Shouldn't I?


Finally, after being stuck with a piece of copper in my stomach for the last three years, I have finally removed the IUD just six days back. I didn't exactly plan to do that but it was just a whim on the part of my gynaec I guess. It went something like this:

Me: (lying on the examination table with the feet wide open and her peeping inside)Doctor, I want to remove my IUD. When do you...?

Doctor: (still looking deep into me & poking something inside) For what? Want another kid?

Me: (highly hesitantly) I am thinking that maybe I should get another. But I don't know whether...(again I didn't complete my sentence!)

Doctor: (pulling out her head and dangling something above me) There it is! Out and away!Good luck with the next one... Hoping to meet you soon!

I was so happy but also so confused... I did want another child but not now... I think the 'now' would have never happened but for this doc.

My problem is something like this:

Every morning I am reminded of the 101 reasons why I shouldn't get pregnant again.
* There was my mom & mom-in-law last time to care for me, there is none now.
* I was insensibly throwing up the first four months of my last pregnancy and spent 22 out of 24 hours in bed. Impossible to replicate now as that would mean starving my hubby & toddler son!
* I have just bought a beautiful new house (see www.housebuyingtips.in)and it would be an absolute disaster if I get preg and sick on the eve of our moving in.
* I have a career now and a running business too.
* I am doing my MBA and the guys in my class are still taking me to be a little girl married away sinfully early. It would be a disaster to attend classes pushing a huge belly.
* After a long time, it is only just now that I started fitting into my old jeans and its bye-bye to it once again.
* I just got a new pair of high-heeled sexy shoes to wear to the next party and God knows if I would be even attending the next one if I got pregnant.

I think of all these reasons and repeat a small mantra to steel myself "I will never ever get pregnant again... I will never ever get pregnant again... I will never ever get pregnant again..."

But as the sun goes down and the full moon smiles at me, I nestle close to my son and go to sleep. It is then she creeps into my life. She looks up at me with wide dark eyes wearing two little pigtails and asks me sweetly, "Mommy, Can I try your perfume?" I kneel down, hug her close and whisper, "You already smell so good, darling, you don't need it!" And then she gives me this beautiful, heart churning smile and I wake up praying for her to come into my life soon.

Aren't I crazy? Are you others so crazy too? Now, tell me what should I do? Should I or Shouldn't I?

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...